xmas

it's so sad that the most widely recognized pago-christian holiday has been reduced to a blurb like "xmas". not that i'm particularly pagan, or particularly religious at all about the holiday lately. nor was i was complaining while icing cookies - xmas is much shorter to try to write neatly in frosting (and much easier with all those straight lines). just the idea of things changing is sad. i have all these memories of that special feeling - there's a chill in the air and i'm looking for the perfect gift for someone, or trying to score on some candy, or sneaking to stay up all night and try to catch santa. i think i'd be able to feel that way again if i didn't have to act like a grown up - i can't stay up all night baking cookies (too often) because i'll be too tired to work. i can't necessarily have all the candy i want because then i'll have to run more to work it off, and so on. i think the magic exists best for those who don't have the responsibility of organizing or cleaning up afterwards.
what a depressing idea.

moving again?

not for a while though. a while ago several people tried to convince us to go live near them. now a couple of people want us to come live in their unoccupied houses. too bad both places are in middle-of-nowhere type locations with minimal employment opportunities. i would love to keep my san diego salary in a non san diego-priced area. and of course, we have 9 months left on the lease here. and i did just get my whopping 38 cent raise... but i'm pretty excited about the prospect of either move, so maybe something will work out like i can talk someone else into taking over this place and hobbes will sell a painting so we can afford to pack up and skedaddle. if only i weren't the responsible type, we'd probably leave next week.

we are all alive

so we finally found someone to hang out with tonight after three days of pretty much just listening to the news... and then the fire people repealed our evacuation order so we got to go home instead. we are fine, the place is fine, the cats are fine. our little trooper twilight just a minute ago happily slew a peacock feather and then lay on her back to wash a paw. hobbes is sleeping in the middle of the floor. balloon is being alert but no longer crying and begging to be held (which he did pretty much the whole time we were in san clemente). even shadow only hid for about twenty minutes before coming out for a snack.
there were sixteen messages on our phone. several from friends and family wanting to know how we're doing, four from my boss... (whoops!) and one from my brother: "hey. just callin' to see what's going on. uhhhhh, i guess you guys are at work... talk to you later." methinks someone doesn't watch the news.

san diego is on fire

seriously. a significant portion of san diego county is under seige from 13 different wildfires (at last count). they've evacuated over a half-million people so far, myself included, which is why i have to blog about it. four years ago we didn't get evacuated during "firestorm 2003" so other than complaining about the ash and smoke, i didn't do much about it. this time i'm an evacuee. our first stop was at a local church where we were told that we were welcome, but that out cats couldn't come inside the building. we were shown a nice, walled-in smokey-aired patio where we would be allowed to leave them. we pretty much marched right out of there. after listening to the radio in our car for a time, shaggy pointed out that our safest, cleanest-air bet would be to head north, since there were fires to the east, southeast, and northeast and we didn't really want to go into mexico or the pacific ocean. probably a billion other people had the same idea so it took us about 4 hours to go less than 70 miles to san clemente where we were able to crash at a friend's sister's house. the cats were all pretty panicked for most of the ride. hobbes complained out loud and thrashed around (thank goodness we stopped and bought a carrier - he started the journey on my lap!) balloon drooled all over himself and cried. shadow trembled and shook and hid his face. good old stoic twilight snuggled him until he stopped shaking and just glared at me to show her disappointment with us for putting them in the car. if everyone had a sister like that the world would probably be a much better place.
once we were able to unload the cats they adjusted pretty quickly to the spare bedroom we locked them in. shadow went under the bed and twilight followed him. hobbes immediately found the door and begged to be allowed through it, and balloon made an impossibly high leap to the top of a bookshelf and proceeded to wash the drool out of his fur - with more drool... i don't think i'll ever understand why that worked.
we've been here for a day now, and the kitties are comfortable enough to get into trouble. hobbes discovered how to open the kitchen cupboards and has gone into a few... i can see myself washing lots of pots 'n' pans to make up for that. balloon likes to get on the kitchen counter and runs around wailing like a siren when we tell him no. twilight and shadow are still under the bed.

thoughts on a wedding

i usually don't care if i piss people off, but i hope nobody takes this one the wrong way:
wow, i never realized before how cynical i am about the institution of marriage. there was a wedding this weekend and i heard the vows and couldn't help but think that there's a 50/50 chance this couple won't make it. then the "traditional" wedding night jokes didn't really happen because the couple is already living together, so they do already have sex... it was basically just a big party and now they're going on a vacation to maui. why do people do this? the "dress, the dance, the cake, the car, the whole darn thing" (thanks shania)? on the other hand, i also am aquainted with a live-in unmarried couple of about 15 years who may call it quits pretty soon. is it better that they never got married, so now there's no divorce? just heartbreak and loss. yeah, that must be better.
not that i regret my own marriage. i think the fact that we skipped the giant party helped us focus on what our vows were really about - a commitment to support and stand by each other no matter what happens. i wonder if other people realize that's what they're promising when they say "i do".

truly random

balloon discovers a basket of kitty treats...


wow, it's been a while since i posted on this blog! i keep saving it up for the supergroup,but this one doesn't fit any of their topics...
i just registered for a half marathon in december. i know it's crazy, but now that the money is paid i can get my stubborn ass to work out consistently because i refuse to waste the sixty bucks. so i think that's good motivation. shaggy's pretty excited about it since he's been trying to get me to exercise for a few years now. so i'm sure i'll post a few times about how that goes.
in other news, i fixed my oven since the landlord didn't see fit to, and i must say that it's very satisfying to toss something in there and smell it baking. what with it being autumn and all the cold weather we're having (it dropped toat least 65 degrees the other day - *sarcasm* brrrr!) i'm getting all domestic and bake-y. so if anyone is interested in some casseroles or apple crisp or a taffy pull, well, let me know and i'll blog about it for you. i'm also having fun with craft stuff and got out my halloween decor. i tried to pose shadow (my only black cat) with the little baskets, but he's suspicious of me because i wield the advantage (flea treatment)...
and i plan to upload photos, but the wireless is losing strength (i hate when it does that) so i'll add 'em later. speaking of which,
later!

grrrrrr

i love my job. i love my boss. i discovered today that i hate my boss' boss. not just dislike - loathe. i want to punch her. i want to kick her. i would love, love, love to make her cry. it wasn't just one thing, it's who she is day in and day out - today i finally figured it out. i am so incredibly lucky to not be her. i can't imagine even trying to live with myself if i were just as mean and arrogant and self-serving. i can't imagine coming up with a pleasant rest of the post after this, so i'm going to stop now.

walking to work

wow. i walked to work yesterday. then i walked home for lunch. then i walked back to work, and home again at the end of the day. all told, i walked for about 14 minutes. it was great.
one of our kitties escaped today. thank goodness it was balloon - the only one smart (and well behaved) enough to get back on his own. we are still trying to figure out what he did - he disappeared from one balcony and appeared on the other one. there are no connecting gutters or anything like that, and we see how he could have gotten on to the roof, but not off... it's a mystery and balloon refuses to repeat the trick. i've managed to rig up a screen across the front of one balcony so nobody else can escape, but of course, hobbes only wants to go on the un-screened balcony. we spoil our kitties shamelessly, so i spent a significant portion of the day sitting out with him to make sure he didn't try something stupid and fall off.

we are moving!

so, i still have big fat issues with management here - but today the manager did a nice thing - when i called a month and a half ago to say we were moving out, the person i spoke to didn't tell me about the move out notice having to be in writing, nor did she record anywhere the fact that i had called. today, the manager decided to believe me, and will allow us to move out on the 31st -on schedule. when we thanked her she practically begged us to go to apartmentratings.com and point out that she was nice. apparently there are multiple bad comments on there... too bad for them she told me another place i can report the absolutely pathetic way this complex is run, since now the next time i'm really bored i can go to that website and be actually honest. man, that'll be fun.
so i'll be packing and cleaning for the next couple of weeks, and then it's bye-bye management - the new place is a condo, with a private owner who actually seems like a pretty nice person. yay.

sleep and thinking about it

oooohhhh boy.
long nap today. nap breath. probably lack of sleep tonight as a result. i think i've discovered why i love sleep so much. partly because/when i'm tired of course, but mostly i want to sleep when i don't like my current reality. i noticed that the other day - i was pissed off, so i wanted to sleep. another time i was sad so i wanted to sleep. if i get a headache, or an ulcer acts up, or i'm sunburned, or have allergies, i want to sleep.
if i'm happy, i don't want to sleep. in fact, when i'm really happy i can barely imagine wanting to sleep ever again.
i've read that sleeping too much is a symptom of depression, but i'm starting to believe that it's more of a defense mechanism, or even a cure - after i wake up, i feel better. maybe not great, but better than when i went to sleep. it's kind of like a comfort food - when things are really rough i know i'll feel better if i can just have some chocolate, or potatoes, sometimes even a popsicle - something i've had a million times before, that i'm comfortable with, and that can't possibly disappoint me. sleep is like that for the most part (disregarding the occasional bad dream - there is no describing how much bad dreams just plain piss me off for wasting my sleep time).
when i'm pissed off and i can't sleep - that's when things really suck. good thing i have chocolate, just in case.